Your place in life is to be my human shoe cleaner. The last time I had you clean my shoes you said they were a tad too clean for you liking so how about I fix that since I am out here in the country where the options and ways of dirtying the shoes are countless. I want you to follow me around on your knees like a little puppy as I dirty these shoes for you. You are going to have so much fun cleaning these and I might make you clean them in front of everyone so that they can all know what a good shoe cleaner you are to me.