It's x-mas time and you know what that means! Putting presents under the tree! I am here waiting by the tree for YOU, my biggest best present to arrive! I'm trying VERY hard to be patient, waiting and waiting, smoking a cigarette and then SUCKING nice and slow on a candy cane that could be you when you get here! I'm getting lots of practice with this big, long, hard stick! MMMM it tastes soooo good, and it slides so easily in and out of my hot mouth and my big soft lips, drop off your elves at someone else's house and hurry here before the milk gets warm and the cookies are all gone!